Are You Living Your Soul’s
Purpose?
By Suzanna Kennedy
“Are you living your soul’s purpose?” It’s a powerful question. If you ask it of yourself, be ready to change in a big way. It’s the question that led me on a magical transformational journey from Detroit, Michigan, to the island paradise of Kauai.
Five years ago I was in a secure 22-year marriage with two healthy, well-adjusted teenage children. My career was at its peak. I was making a very comfortable salary as a business consultant in the Detroit auto industry, specializing in the design of corporate training programs and leading large-scale change initiatives. My work was respected and my consulting skills considered valuable. I lived in a beautiful home in an affluent neighborhood, with a car for each member of the family, enjoying two-week vacations in the Caribbean each year. By all standards I was self-actualized; I should have felt fulfilled and happy, but that was not the case.
Some call it midlife crisis. (I know my husband did!) For me, it was much more than that. I wanted to go deeper. Where was the magic, the adventure, the mystery? WHERE WAS THE PASSION? I felt disconnected from anything that seemed truly important. I longed for true intimacy. And this question kept coming into my consciousness: “Are you living your soul’s purpose?” I had to ask myself, “Was I really put on this earth to train guys to sell more cars?”
My mind was changing rapidly, but emotionally I felt unable to break the ties and commitments that had bound me for 22 years. I struggled with all the conventional questions: I was married to a good man; how could I leave him? How could I leave my children and all my so-called responsibilities? What would my parents say? What would my employer say?
One morning I woke up and felt my body going into contractions. Waves of energy moved up my spine and the feeling was like the labor of childbirth. It lasted for about an hour and a half. Because a strong spiritual guidance has always been an active force in my life, I uttered a silent prayer, a call for help, asking, “What is happening to me?” I heard the answer clearly inside, “You are giving birth to yourself.”
After that, everything changed. There was a new sense of priority in my life, an extreme desire to focus on spiritual service. I didn’t know exactly how that should look, but I seemed driven to find my soul’s purpose and to know how to live it.
I wanted to create a whole new life, but I didn’t know how to do it. Again I prayed for help. I was led to a process called Integrative Natural Healing, which helped me to let go of the limiting thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and attitudes that I had accumulated regarding myself, and, particularly, myself in relationships. I was able to release the anger and blame I carried regarding male relationships in my life, including my father, my son, my husband, teachers and even my vision of a male God and the male aspect of myself. In the same way, I performed an emotional clearing around all the female relationships in my life.
While it certainly is not the only path to integration and self-awareness, this particular program was the opportunity I encountered to clear some core beliefs that no longer served me. Through it I was able to experience a sense of “fullness” and completeness within myself, activating a passion for all of life.
I was raised to believe I must be “self-less;” that it is a bad thing to put one’s self first. Sound familiar? But how can we possibly nourish another when we come from a place of emptiness? When I come from a place of fullness, what I share with others is what overflows from that fullness within me. In fact, when I am in my fullness, I have a burning desire to share with others, rather than a sense of stinginess. It becomes an urge, almost a requirement of living.
I came to the realization, through this process of growth and integration, that if I am not true to myself, I’m no good to anyone. And I was left with a truly beautiful gift: myself. I spent a lot of time asking myself all those judgmental questions I knew others would ask me. “How can you leave your children?” “How can you give up a marriage of 22 years?” “How will you make money?” The process gave me the courage to make the changes I knew I had to make in my life to align with my soul’s purpose. It gave me strength, and it gave me trust. I was able to stand strong in the conviction that what was best for me would be best for everyone in my life.
It took me only a few months to move through a relatively graceful divorce and relocate to Sedona, Arizona. I loved Sedona, with its red rocks and clear blue skies. Its transformational electromagnetic energy was juicy and palpable. It was the first time in my life that I felt really connected to the Earth. Intuitively, I knew the move to Sedona was temporary, but necessary for my healing and transformation.
Coming Home to Kauai
After a year and a half in the Sedona desert, the tropical air of Hawaii began to call to me. I decided to invest a month in exploring the Garden Isle of Kauai. On the plane over, I thought I would miss Sedona, but soon found that Kauai was made up of the same red dirt and blue skies. Add to that the lush tropical plants, moist salt air, and the ocean. Could this be home?
I received my answer on a hike from the Kilauea Lighthouse up to Crater Hill, well known as a sacred Hawaiian power spot and, some say, an inter-dimensional portal. Whatever it is, Crater Hill certainly invoked a strong experience for me. I began to feel strange waves of energy wash over and through me. A voice whispered to me, inviting me to live here, promising to support me. As soon as I decided to accept her invitation, I began to see evidence of the island fulfilling her promise. It seemed that the Garden Isle had welcomed me with open arms.
My story at this point sounds a lot like that of so many who move here from the mainland. If Kauai decides she wants you, she lets you know and clears the way to get you here. There may be promises of safety, security, companionship, fulfillment – whatever it is you think you need. But once you get here, you face your illusions of security. You come face to face with your own fears and doubts. You either move through and past them or you find you can’t stay.
So it was with me, as opportunities for work disappeared. But I held fast to my desire to serve, and continued my exploration of my soul’s purpose. I depended heavily on my own spiritual guides who spoke more clearly to me than ever. The word kauai means “Come, Be.” I was told to rest, relax, enjoy and just BE. So for the first six months I followed my guidance and spent time at the beach, in nature, and networking with other healing facilitators and teachers. After six months, I began receiving new information from my spirit guides. At seven months, I found my dream home.
Nine months after arriving on the island, I underwent another birthing event, similar to the one I had experienced before my divorce. Spirit essentially completed the puzzle I began to work when I first asked what my soul purpose was. This time, I felt as if I were birthing myself as a Divine Human, shifting my perceptions from a fear-based reality to one based in joy. I also birthed the concept of a new spiritual process I call Sacred Union, a tool for helping each of us to reunite with all aspects of ourselves, including our own Divinity. And in doing so, I found my soul purpose.
For me, Kauai has been the birthplace of the expression of my spiritual essence and my Divinity. Now instead of training guys to sell more cars, I’m training people to come into Sacred Union within themselves. Instead of leading corporate change initiatives, I’m leading personal transformation. Once again I am training trainers, as I offer the Sacred Union Facilitator’s Program. I am using the same skills and talents, but now with a passion, because my mind and body are aligned with my heart and soul.
Looking back now, five years later, I don’t recognize my life. Am I living my soul’s purpose? Absolutely, and it is Heaven on Earth!
Copyright © 2002. Reality Crafting Holding Trust. All rights reserved.
